An Odd Boy

"Sport, sport, masculine sport,
Equips a young man for society.
Yes, sport turns out a jolly good sort,
It's an odd boy who doesn't like sport."

Viv Stanshall


Those of you who remember the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band will probably remember the above and chuckle nostalgically. Those of you who don't, please be assured it is ironic - not to be taken literally!

For the last few weeks the newspaper I take regularly might as well have been called The Daily Olympics. In addition to various supplements dedicated to detailed coverage of the Games, the first six or seven pages have been almost entirely devoted to stories of medal winners and statistical breakdowns of how well we are doing. Coverage on TV has been pretty much constant.  In addition to this the media has been awash with celebrities and politicians pontificating about how wonderful sport is and how we can solve this country's problems by persuading our young people to take part in sport at all costs.  Boris Johnson wants two hours of PE a day for all school pupils - just as he had at his Public School.  Made him the man he is today apparently...

I was reading, with some interest for a while, a Facebook page devoted to debating the pros and cons of Scottish independence - but to my dismay it turned into a debate about good old sport and how we must persuade our young people to take part in sport to a much greater extent than they currently do, the implication being that most of them are couch potatoes, computer game geeks or hoodies out on the rob.  Leaving aside the fact that this is plainly a false stereotype, it is also a piece of rank hypocrisy.  I do not know if there is any statistical data on this subject but, from the evidence I see around me in schools, playing fields and parks, young people are much more active than their middle aged counterparts. Does anyone seriously think Boris Johnson is a fit-looking individual. (Fit meaning in good physical condition - not its modern colloquial meaning.)  Lots of the individuals expressing the opinion that young people need to be more active look as if they would have trouble breaking into a trot.

But what really annoys me is the bland (and seemingly almost universal) assumption that everyone likes to watch sport; everyone supports a football team, everyone supports the athletes that are representing their country.  If you dare to assert your individuality on this subject, you are regarded as an eccentric at best - a traitor by some.  Well here goes! I don't care about football. I don't care which team wins on a Saturday. I didn't watch ANY of the Olympic coverage on TV and went straight to page six or seven of the newspaper. The supplements went straight into the paper recycling bin.  I don't think I am terribly unfit for my age. I enjoy hill-walking and swimming but I don't want to compete with anyone. The perfect swimming session for me is one where there is no-one else in the pool. The perfect walk is one done in good company with beautiful scenery and is not timed by anyone. No-one wins or loses and there is no honour at stake.

To some people this makes me dangerously subversive. So be it.  I have attended various social events over the years where I have ended up in the company of affable people I don't know very well.  If it's a group of men, they invariably talk about football. I cannot count the number of times I have been asked what team I support and am no longer surprised at the incredulity my reply that I am not interested in football provokes. Of course it makes no difference as they continue to rattle on about football anyway - just as if I did not exist and, in a way, for them, I don't.

Some people love competitive sport. Some people are passionate about football, cricket, rugby, athletics - either as spectators or participants. I am quite happy for them to have all the opportunities they have to pursue this but I am not happy with the pretence that competitive sport is synonomous with fitness and good health nor do I accept "Mens Sana in Corpore Sano".

Where do the athletes who fail drug tests fit into this model? Where do the brain-damaged boxers - or those who die in the ring or on the way to hospital afterwards - fit? Good old heathy competition has led to the Rangers/Celtic divide and the sectarianism associated with it.  How many fights/assaults/manslaughters have there been as a result of football supporters disagreement?

In 1945 George Orwell published an essay called The Sporting Spirit. I finish with a short quote from it.

"Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence: in other words it is war minus the shooting."