Christmas time brings a wave of sentiment and commercialism to the country. It seems to start a bit earlier every year. Nowadays the last banger has barely scared your poodle into fouling the lobby floor on November the fifth before the advertising business launches its relentless Christmas onslaught. Parents everywhere tremble as they see the price of the latest range of "My Little Warthog" and the vast sums of money that will be required to keep wee Shugbert up with his contemporaries on the X Box (whatever that is) front. Music is not exempt from this affliction. The CD is still a great convenience gift - you can buy one for someone at a knock-down price and have it delivered (to them or to you) without leaving your PC/Laptop/ I Phone.
To be Christmas Number One used to be a huge deal - financially and in terms of professional prestige. Number One is not such a clear cut concept these days but, as far as I know, it's still a hotly contested spot. The X Factor winner, Joe Mc Elderry, being beaten to the post in 2009 by Rage Against The Machine, in part because of an online campaign, is testament to how strongly people can still feel about this. Apparently the same sort of thing is going on now with a Facebook campaign to get Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" to No1 instead of Little Mix's "Cannonball", originally by Damien Rice. (Note that X Factor contenders in both cases were releasing covers.)
The bottom line is... the bottom line. It's a time when people are pretty much compelled to spend and, recession or not, spend they do so, if you are in a position to sell CDs or downloads, November/ December is the time to do it.
One sure fire money-spinner at this time of the year is the record made by groups of people - often amateurs who have something in common. For me, the most hilarious was "The Priests" because it looked and sounded so like an episode of Father Ted. We've also had "The Soldiers" and "The Soldier's Wives" - "The Tenors", "Il Divo" and so on. I look forward keenly to a video/recording featuring "The Boxers" singing "All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth", "The Sewermen" singing "All Through The Shite" and the "Ku Klux Clan" - yes, all right, I'll get my coat...that wasn't the song title if you are having difficulty keeping up...
Anyway, all this nonsense aside, since Christmas in this country seems to be all about turkeys, here are some real turkeys of Christmas records of the past that I have loathed, after which I will mention one or two songs that I really like.
"Mistletoe and Wine" Cliff Richards - I hate this piece of facile hypocrisy with a vengeance. When he sings "Children singing christian rhymes" just so it will rhyme (well half-rhyme really) with "wine" it enrages me beyond belief. "Christian rhymes" indeed!!!!! Yes, I know I should get out more...
"Another Rock and Roll Christmas" Gary Glitter - enough said...
"Merry Christmas Everybody" Slade - I hate the whole thing but , "...look to the future now, it's only just begun..." is as trite and meaningless as any line I've ever heard in a pop song - with the possible exception of "If I was a sculptor - but then again no..." Yes, all right, getting my coat again...
Enough of this moaning. Here - and I'm not sure in every case why - are a few songs that are played at Christmas that make me feel happy and well-disposed towards my fellow man - no mean feat in these troubled times. I have starred them to give you an idea of how much I like them and the first one will be no surprise to anyone.
"A Fairytale of New York" The Pogues with Kirsty MacColl ***********************************
"Stop The Cavalry" _ Jona Lewie **************
"I Believe in Father Christmas" - Greg Lake*********
"The Little Drummer Boy" - David Bowie and Bing Crosby ****************
"White Christmas" Bing Crosby **********
"Santa Claus is Coming To Town" Bruce Springsteen ******
"Happy Christmas (War is Over)" John and Yoko ****************
Whatever Christmas means or doesn't mean to you, we have a chance at this time to stop and take a breath and think about next year and starting anew. That has to be a good thing. As Anne Frank ( a real heroine) said:
"It's a wonder that I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart."
If she could say that - in her position - then I can put up with "Mistletoe and Wine."
Mariah Carey, Wham, Mud, Elvis and the Darkness had good Christmas Songs. Tull had his Solstice bells too. Bah Humbug! I'm off to sing along with these guys http://www.folkways.si.edu/albumdetails.aspx?itemid=2654
ReplyDeleteI will tell you a funny thing, Tam. When Marian and I started working as a duo in the nineties we always learned Christmas songs for the Christmas gigs as it was expected. Two of the songs we did were "Last Christmas" by George Michael and "Rock and Roll Christmas" by Gary Glitter. When events "overtook" us, as it were, I remember saying to Marian, "Christ, all it needs is for that bastard in Mud to shag a sheep and we've got a full set!"
ReplyDeleteHaw Haw! I worked beside a guy who is a great pop/punk singer who goes the whole hog with his routines. He had the whole Gary Glitter get up and used to do a few songs as G G at Christmas parties. Anyone want to buy a G G costume?
ReplyDeleteYes - my big George Michael routine used to go down a bomb. Now I can't use public conveniences...
ReplyDeleteThe Elvis version of "Merry Christmas Baby" is great all year round. wish he'd done more stuff like that.
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