Control freaks in bands

Most people who have played in bands will have experienced working with a control freak. I'm not talking here about someone (Zappa springs to mind) who writes, arranges and bankrolls the whole shooting match. The control is part of the deal and springs from the fact that the composer/arranger, like Zappa, is immensely talented and the inspiration and motive force behind the whole enterprise.

No, I'm talking about a different phenomenon altogether. This person is probably not the most talented person in the band (may well be the least talented) and doesn't usually add that much in terms of real creativity. But they want to choose the songs; draw attention to any mistakes - real or imaginary -  other members of the band may make; decide what band members should wear on stage, and exercise arbitrary vetoes over various aspects of band business. If you make suggestions about song choice, mix, arrangements, direction, they will do their level best to rubbish your contribution.  The suggestion that you made that was denigrated will often surface later as the control freak's own. Another favourite gambit of the control freak in a band is to tell other members that they are playing/singing too loud or that a song is just a tiny fraction too fast or too slow - the implication being that they are superior to you and sensitive to such nuances. If the band gets any press coverage or media coverage of any kind, they do their level best to ensure that they handle it - preferably alone and, when the article or programme appears - surprise, surprise - it's really all about them.

Sound familiar?  If such a person is your employer, often you have to find ways of coping with the situation but in a band you don't have to cope. So why does this person survive for any length of time in an ordinary band? I suggest it is for the same reason that big-mouthed ignoramuses in pubs, on public transport and at parties are tolerated. People don't want confrontation and dislike rocking the boat so they just put up with the person and make excuses for him. "It's just his way. He doesn't mean anything by it..." And so on.

By now you will probably have realised that I have worked with someone like this. Only in one band was it a real hard-line control freak - with all of the above and worse. In fact, a local newspaper interviewed this person about the band and he actually made a mistake about another band member's name - not a spelling mistake - completely the wrong name.  I still cannot believe that we put up with him for as long as we did. Bottom line is that, being human, you think, "Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm too sensitive - no-one else seems to be bothered." Meanwhile everyone else (except Mr Control) is thinking the same thing.

According to mainstream psychological thought, control freaks are as they are because not being in control is a huge threat to their fragile but over-inflated egos. Allowing a co-operative where everyone's opinion is given a fair hearing is not an option as their secret fear is that their own very real shortcomings will become apparent. This fits with the experience I had but it may not  be quite as straightforward  in every case. In any case, as a musician,  you have other things to worry about so here is one simple piece of advice - and this is straightforward and simple. If you have any choice in the matter, don't work with such people. There are plenty of decent, talented, honest and  friendly musicians around.